I remember
to be in Figueira da Foz in that afternoon, Portuguese time, I was enjoying the
last days of vacation before school started in a house my family rented for
summer. I was 6.
My mother, my
grandmother and me were watching TV, a movie or a series I can’t really
remember, sitting in a couch and relaxing while my dad and granddad were out
for a walk, suddenly the emission is interrupted and the next thing I recall is
seeing a building fall into pieces and seconds later I see an airplane going
through the building that’s right next to the falling one, by the time I didn’t
understand where or why that happened but that image has been haunting me ever
since.
My mother
was staring at the images, my grandmother and I didn’t know what to say until I
innocently asked “Mommy, what’s that?” and she answered “I don’t know…” in this
tone that implies a certain surprise with a sprinkle of fear, that was one of
the only moments that my mother couldn’t answer one of my questions.
September
11th, 2001, the day that marked many lives, including mine, and took many
others, the day that showed how vulnerable we were, the day that shook the
world and still is part of the world’s memory as one of the worst days ever
lived.
It seems a
little hypocrite from me to write about an event that didn’t affect me
directly, an event that I barely remember and I couldn’t understand by the time
and still tell it affected my life, but do we really need to experience these
moments to be touched by them?
When people
talk about this black event, the picture of an airplane crashing into a
building comes to mind, actually I’m here about it writing and my eyes are
glowing with tears, many can’t understand why it makes me feel like that but
the truth is that it does affect me a lot.
When you
think about the number of lives lost, or even when you imagine people fighting
to get out of those building desperate to survive, imagining the panic of not
knowing if someone I loved was alive, that makes me reflect about life and many
times I end up putting myself on the shoes of one of those people.
“It’s all
blurry, I can’t see, my breathing is so heavy, I lay down in the floor to try
to slow it, but it’s not worthed, I try to drag myself to an exist, everything’s
full of dust, I feel corps everywhere, some I know from work, some great
friends and some I haven’t seen. I try to cover my mouth and nose with my shirt
but it doesn’t make a difference, I keep dragging myself but I go nowhere, by
this point I don’t whether if I going to make it or not and tears start so come
of my eyes as I think about my family…” – This is one of many images that comes
through my mind when thinking about this black day. It has no comparison to a
real description of the event but it’s enough to make me feel vulnerable and
acknowledge that there’s a fine line between life and chaos and that a simple
thing can take that balance in the blink of an eye, that’s how little we are.
I mean 19
people’s actions led to the death of almost 3000 others and cause 10 billion
dollars in property damage, those same 19 paralyzed the world with fear, those
19 proved that there’s no such thing as an invincible country and, most
important, those 19 made everyone become more humble about themselves. 19 minds
changed billions of others.
June 1st,
2014
